do you ever look at people’s urls and whisper “you don’t deserve it.”
i’m still crying
when I was in year 7 I was really weird and I had a massive crush on this boy and I said one day to a friend ‘i want to pee in his toilet’ and then a year later I was dating the same boy I had a crush on and I needed the toilet so I peed in his toilet and I only just remembered this so the moral or the story is dreams do come true
today I burned my tongue on a piece of pizza and I think that it’s a very strong metaphor that sometimes the things you love most in life will hurt you.
I Really Hate It When People Type Like This Like What Are You Doing This Is A Sentence Not A Fall Out Boy Song Title.
(Source: aserbianfilm, via horansgiggle)
so my mom needed a dress for a wedding so she went to neiman marcus and tried this on and sneaked some pictures
then she showed them to my grandmother and with almost a 50 year sewing career she made an exact replica of the dress for her
no one tops my grandma tbh
(Source: apositivedisaster, via salmonoid)
remember this annoying thing?
if i could bring one dead person back to life i’d bring back Walt Disney just to show him the shows on disney channel and see his reaction
ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
one time i picked up a penny and i hit my head on the door handle and i have a tiny scar from it and that was the third worst time i ever picked up a penny
the second worst time i ever picked up a penny was when one time i picked up a penny on the street and i almost got hit by a car
what’s the worst time you ever picked up a penny
i was in an airport and i hit a baby by accident